crazy world

the world is going crazy or am i the one who's crazy? doing something that's surely unthinkable, things that a healthy mind won't touch, or even cross, but im walking between the line now. and i don't want to be clever here, im throwing dignity , insanity, and rules, and the worst part is, i know exactly what im doing.
this curiosity leads me to something that is wrong, that is crazy, and everyone tried to warn me, and i watch myself keep walking to the path i am planning to go.
i won't listen, i won't stop, but i know they were right, i shouldn't go this way, i should just take turn and leave them all behind because i can. the ball is mine, the decision is fully under my control, but i don't wan to.

maybe i'm crazy for doing this, and im being non sense, but i know that im longing for the end, i want to know how it would be,
how its gonna end, and thats the dangerous part. it leads me somewhere dangerous.

maybe this world is crazy, but how you define crazy? crazy means something that common people, or most people won't do. so they labeled it crazy, but what if most people doing it, we won't call it crazy. we'll call it normal.

and i have my own perception.

wish me luck!!

let it go let it go

i seriously need something to let go of this. this ridiculous relationship that going no where. its not that i dont love the guy anymore, its just im trying to be rational which i know that is something that hard to do.
i feel like im wasting my time. after all the effort, times, and feelings, still, its going no where. i think i should realize that i dont have to waste my time loving someone who doesn't love me, or try to be with someone who doesn't wanna be with me.
no matter what i'd do, i cant seem to change the way he feel about me. thats just that. what a woman can do to make a guy wants her? care for him? loving him with all the love we have inside? support him? being a very loyal partner? i've done that.
still, nothing's change.
i think im just making it even hard by trying too hard and staying here. i should just stop.
im afraid of myself. im afraid im getting cold and the feelings just fade away. tell me, how can you love someone if he doesn't love you? can you do that? can you hanging on onto something that doesn't catch you when you fall?

this is just ridiculous. and i should just let him go. and give myself to someone who deserve me.

flasback to childhood memories

had a very nice lunch with some old friend of mine. i mean, its really old. some boy from my elementary school, and he was like the hottest little kid at that moment, and me and the rest of the girls, trying to catch his attention, and this little kid always playing it cool.
and now we are sitting together, having lunch, office break, talking about life, talking about childhood responsibilities and drama's. that is just so nice, you know, since we graduated from the school, i never bump into him and the other way round.
he's just gone like that. and now we met again. just like that. unexpectedly. dont you think thats kinda funny?
you cant never really erase someone from the past, because no matter how far you go, if life wanted you to bump into each other, then you will and brings the memories you have forgotten.
what funny is, when we were a kid, we seems like hated each other. because i like him and he dont like me. you know, little kid, when they know some girls attracted to them when they're not, they get annoyed and will treat you bad and saying mean words to you.
and since he knew that i was into him he always tried to keep a distance with me, and we never really talk. like never.
and now, like i mean, we both all grown up, and mature, sit together, sharing the stupid memories and laugh about it together.

that's how life works. so i learnt, leave it to faith or destiny. if destiny wanted you to met someone or separate you, there must be a reason behind that. i dont know why we met again, but maybe so we can laugh together thru our childhood memories.
we will never know yes?


take care old friend. nice to meet you again. cheers

my first movie public screening tonigh

my first movie kodrat kuadrat public screening tonight. wish me luck people :0

my first trial naima shoes

my friends is the designer for 'naima' shoes. they have a cute collection, design and style. but i have to say that the shoes is not really comfortable after you wore it for 4 hours. but after all, the design is pretty cute.
hope they can fix the little problem, then i would love to buy another design from them :)